Yaughton is, for all its detail, a fantasy. Everybody's Gone to the Rapture's fiction is wider than its central mystery. People do not come to this pub on league night, for fear of being lost in a sea of barely contained beer gut. League night is almost certainly the worst night of the week, because outsiders are bussed in to stand around in a huge semi-circle that engulfs the room. I'm not even sure there's enough space for a regulation oche. Moving on, check out the placement of the dart board. Bob, or Cedric, or Roland won't like that. In The Stars At Night, his natural seat is directly next to a table. You're not sure what would happen if anyone else sat there. He has a seat, and it's located at the corner of the bar. It's not clear if he has a job, but he has enough money to be there every night.
He's inevitably the quietest person at the bar, uttering two or three incomprehensible sentences each night. The Guy In The Corner is your prime local-more furniture than customer. I do, however, worry where The Guy In The Corner will sit. I can't fault the seating-those round-backed wooden chairs and floral pattern benches are spot on. He'd open the crisps, plop in the egg, and just go to town on the whole woeful affair. I once had a regular who always ordered a packet of salt and vinegar crisps and a pickled egg. Perhaps you assume people don't actually eat those, but no. No crisps, no Frazzles, no suspicious looking packs of pork scratchings with a font that suggests they've been in storage since the '60s.
As a final twist of the knife, tourists will regularly ask what's in the pump.Īs for snacks, there are none. This is a permanent reminder of the time the landlord wanted to feature a rotating selection of guest ales like what a pub in a town would have. Optionally, you can also have an empty pump. If you're running a village pub, you need one local ale, one bitter, and one speciality strong ale so the locals can order a half when they're feeling a bit adventurous. Worse still, all six pumps are serving the same ale. The sort of names where you're not sure why anyone thought that would be something you'd want to put in your mouth. Ales have names like Bishop's Bottom, Bulldog Scrotum and Rumpy Pumpy. The stubs and ash are a nice touch.īut look at those taps! Finkelstein is not the name of an ale. Some of it's correct: the drip trays, the special's board, the yard glass, and especially the ashtray. To the layman, this looks fine, but the cracks are beginning to show.
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